This week’s reelection of Donald Trump for President has led me to a moment of clarity. I am a queer person in a country where the most empowered political party scapegoats people like me. During the last administration, people targeted me at work. Lies were spread about me on the internet. I received hundreds of hate-filled emails a day. They tried to get me fired.
I am objectively less safe as a result of these changes in the political tide.
And as I reflect on this, as I come to terms with the changing realities in front of me, I have decided that what I need to do is radically take care of myself. I cannot be certain what will come in the future, but whatever happens, I need to have my own back.
And so that is the commitment I am making to myself today. For the next four years, I will be empowering myself to live my best life. I’m going to look internally for what is best for me in each moment and moving towards the future. What am I feeling? What do I need? What will serve me best?
This is not how I was raised. It is not how I was socialized. During the last Trump administration I was out there fighting, defending my students, writing letters, taking action on behalf of the community. I sacrificed my own comfort, sleep, and safety for the good of others.
And I am not willing to do that this time around. At least not for now.
So, starting this week, I have really committed to checking in with myself each day. I have committed to reflecting on how I spent my time: did it serve me? What do I wish I could have changed? When I find something that I wish I did differently, I’ve committed to visualizing a new future for the next time that circumstance comes around. I want to honor my needs, to feed myself when I’m hungry, to stop before I feel uncomfortable, to move my body in ways that bring me joy, to rest when I am fatigued, to give myself space and quiet when I’m overwhelmed, to find sources of joy and pleasure and savor them.
And all of this feels really good. It feeds my not-so-inner rebel by saying, “You want to hold me down? Look at me living my best life despite it!” It connects to my deep desire for autonomy and independence by helping me feel in control of what I can actually influence–my own actions. It is in alignment with my value of compassion, as each act of checking in with myself for what I need in any circumstance is a radical act of self-compassion, prioritizing myself and my own needs.
I know that I am in a moment of motivation right now, and motivation is an emotion that ebbs and flows like all feelings. It is my hope that stating these commitments publicly, by putting it out there, by connecting it with my values, I can hold onto this new vision of myself for the times when it all feels harder.
I can do this. I am powerful, strong, capable and kind. And each day that I follow through on these commitments, I reinforce the truth of it.
Progressive Strength 